Chapter Text
“It’s..it’s alright.”
His voice echoed throughout the cosmos, or wherever his companions were now at. He had heard his companions ask for him, especially Yukari, who was a crying mess. The remainder of SEES was waiting for him, trying to get him back, but a pain in him reminded him of his grand act and the price he had to pay. He had sealed a seemingly unstoppable deity, one that even her servant, Ryoji, had said was futile. To do something so unthinkable must have its price.
Now, where was he? He tried to move his hands, prying himself free from his binds, but his body refused to move in the slightest. He attempted opening his mouth again, but by bizarre mechanism he could not. He could see, though. His eyes functioned without error, but everything else was petrified. He tried to call out to his companions below, even if he knew that he could not return to his former life, and gasped, attempting to gain attention, but his body was stuck in place. His teammates disappeared from the plane, and he tried again to yell back at them.
He tried a variety of noises.
“Please!”
His mouth went limp.
“Can you hear me?”
His tongue was stuck in place.
“Do not worry!”
His jaw now slowly lost function, as his body slipped from his grasp.
He looked down. It seemed that he had become crucified, like when Ikutsuki had betrayed the lot, and tied him on that damn cross and forced him to see what was to unfold, but that time he could run away. This time…however… his body…it was now stone. He was now a fossil of his former life, but he retained his thoughts and his mind.
He contemplated how torturous it would be, to spend centuries like this in pain and boredom, like those hypotheticals he read on Internet forums about the pain of immortality. He had rubbed it off as a farce and thought all that was bound for him was death, but what faced him now scared him. Perhaps now life was more horrid than death.
“Oh, it’s you.” A perked voice called out.
He tried to turn his eyes around, but he saw no one. “Of course you don’t see anyone. I’m already gone, sealed with Nyx. I do miss school though. I’d rather take a million exams than stay here.” He tried to ask if it was Ryoji, but his mouth refused to part, no matter how hard he willed it. Just like how you’ve done it, muscle by muscle..but it seemed he lacked even muscles. In fact, he felt complete as an entire body, but his body now felt nothing, no pain, discomfort, or heat or cold. It would be cliche to say he was an empty shell, but it was perfect to say his spirit was now imprisoned in the form he transfigured into to save humanity.
“Cruel, huh? You remain alive, but cannot do anything. The helplessness must hurt.”
Of course! Now as humanity’s Prometheus, or whatever tragic hero his teacher had mentioned in those lengthy lectures, he now was forced to remain and be consumed by eternal boredom, and he was not even given the mercy to be able to speak.
“You ought not to worry. I can hear how you feel. By some miracle, I have lost my form, but I still have some powers imparted by my master’s banishment.”
They were utterly different in their punishments. Ryoji, or what remained of him, had been allowed freedom of movement and speech, but effectually was no more than a magical wisp of wind, a zephyr spirit that could not be traced. For himself, though, he was there, but he could do nothing. A silent monument and a wordy breeze.
Please, he begged mentally. If he could, he would kneel down. Those teammates, those companions, were all integral parts of his existence, and if he could not he see them, it would be extremely brutal to him.
“Brutal? You can’t really say that in the face of the gods. For them, you’re just a mere mortal. A mortal who did an unfathomable deed of course, but a mortal nonetheless.” The voice chuckled. “Do you even know how much of a travesty your act was?”
Travesty could not be the correct term…
”You saved humanity, correct, meaning you did an invaluable act of courage. However, for those above, you at heart went against the natural order. What was scripted was humanity wanted ruin, so they would give it to them.” ‘Ryoji’ chuckled. “You messed up the plan…the long nosed man will face an issue someday, as he’s facilitating all this.”
It was obvious he was now whining like a schoolboy who was not complacent with his assignment. This was his answer to life, where he used the power of his bonds to counter the power of death. However, the fact that he could not be silent in death troubled him.
Ryoji, your human self would not do this.
”You still call me by that name? Even…after seeing my avatar form?” ‘Ryoji’ staggered, his voice now rushed. “You still see me as that puny human self?”
You are always Ryoji for me. But please, Ryoji. I’ve done my deed. He sighed, nearly asking Nyx herself for his own sweet death. Allow me to die in peace. I cannot think of how torturous the next centuries would be, unable to see anything but endless cosmos.
“You really think they’re gonna let you off the hook like that? Simply bored and blindfolded?” ‘Ryoji’ jolted. “No, look down, my dear.”
My dear? When did those words fit him?
”Bah, focus. Now look below.”
The cosmos cleared to form a transparent screen, peering back down into his former home of Tatsumi Port Island. Right below him stood his former comrades, in the dorm, joined together in sorrow and grief. Every member seemed compounded in sadness, reminiscent of those old days where Shinjiro and their leader was there. He now envied Shinjiro. Dead and thrown into the cycle of rebirth, not being forced into whatever thrashed him around now. He wanted to break out and rebel and do his old ways of breaking set boundaries, but this time fear consumed him. Perhaps Ryoji was right. He could not meddle in the cruel ways of the gods.
Yukari broke down in mad crying, collapsed over a table as tears drowned her complexion. “Please, I want to see him! I need him back!”
She had been the one who essentially loved him the most. Even when he rejected her out of fear for how she would react when he met eventual death, she still retained pure love for him that even when not romantic supported him through his hardest days. Now, he had left her broken, and she would know him as a brave man that abandoned her, like when old grandmas talk about their war martyr husbands.
On the other end of the warm room, Junpei and Akihiko sat down in silence. They could not mourn out loud, for their own ideas of masculinity bound them, but their faces leaked with sourness.
”It was inevitable, but it still feels bad.” Akihiko groaned.
”First Shinjiro and now him. Losing two friends must be hard.” Junpei sighed in sympathy.
”And Chidori for you too.”
“Yes. And her too. Memento mori…”
Fuuka was attempting to distract herself from the mourning, but broke her gaze off her screen.
”For Chidori, Shinjiro, and…of course, leader, it was kind of bound they would die someday. Chidori and Shinji were suffering due to those suppression medicines. As for leader..? Summoning various personas does mean you’re a special breed. And if your the type of special to go against Nyx herself, nothing good’s set up for you.”
“He also had a terribly nihilist viewpoint on life. Losing your parents does hurt.” Mitsuru choked, holding her collar as she reminded herself of her own loss. “It’s a pain already at my age, and I conduct myself, so it must have been devastating as a child. So perhaps his eternal rest was a good return for him. From the earth, ascended to the skies.”
”It seems they still think you’re fully dead…meaning they don’t think your mind remains. That sounds terrible. That’s because by heavenly decree, you’re forced to see them till their end. And till time’s end too.”
It was for humanity, but for humanity’s redemption, he would bear pain as an observer.
Ryoji, aren’t you Death? Could you please kill my consciousness and end my horror?
”My human form would be sad beyond words, so I can’t, my dear.”
